Last night I saw a commercial for a dating service for the chosen ones called "Shoshanna's Matches." I'm still trying to convince myself that I wasn't watching a rerun of "Saturday Night Live":
The door swings open on a tasteful apartment (in Boca).
Cut to Mom:
Mom: "Michael, I'd like you to meet Sara."
Door swings open: "Have you met Rachel?"
Door swings open: "Jessica?"
Door swings open: "Michelle?" (get it? she's a nag)
(Exasperated at her son's lack of interest in any of the women she's fixed him up with)
Mom yells: "Michael!"
Cue the raspy Jewish American Princess voiceover:
"Shoshanna's Matches combines traditional Jewish matchmaking with modern human resource management techniques to help you meet your soulmate. At Shoshanna's Matches you'll never feel stuck in Cyberspace unsure of who you're really meeting. All our members are carefully screened."
Cut to Jewish guy whining: "Mom! Have you met Rebecca?"
Mom (so happy that her son is finally going to get married): "Michael!"
Shoshanna suddenly appears on the screen and starts making this gross "seductive" face and says: "Shoshanna's Matches, our only real competition is Mom."
Something tells me this Shoshanna knows her shit, though. She even hosts events about how to meet your soulmate at specific locations:
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Find Me a Find, Catch Me a Catch
Mon, April 4th, 2005 7-9 PM
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I know this is an old post but I just want you to know that I used Shoshanna's Matches and it was a COMPLETE HOAX! Shoshanna only found one "match" for me, but when he called me he said he had been hounded by Shoshanna and that he didn't want to date someone in my geographic location. When I called to express my dissatisfaction Shoshanna herself verbally abused me on the phone, blaming me for the "match" not working out. She refused to refund my money, then began yelling at me until she ultimately hung up on me.
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