'Somebody Always Has to Cry'

This week's episode of "The Hills" was probably my favorite one yet. It's Christmas in Hollywood so the unemployed teens are all out buying each other $5,000-plus presents (black diamond dog tags for him, Chanel handbag for her).

Back at Hillside Villas, my idol ditzy roomie Heidi matter-of-factly blurts out during the tree-trimming party that "I feel like it's Christmas at home -- somebody always has to cry." Boyfriend Jordan, LC and Jason look on in horror and ask, "Who cries at your Christmases?"

Heidi says: "I always cry at my Christmases. I never get the present I want. My sister Holly gets all the attention. Then we start fighting."

Mortified, everyone is staring at her and assures Heidi that no, no one cries normally at their family Christmases.

Heidi's not buying it: "Oh, my god, you guys," she says. "You guys have to tell me that your families cry at Christmas -- sometimes. You guys are such liars."

Lauren: "Well, one time my grandma cried 'cause she was so touched by her gift."

Heidi: "Whatever. You guys are such liars." (!!!!)

Later on New Year's Eve at the club, Jason decides to get drunk and pick a fight with Lauren 'cause earlier she got a phone call from some guy she'd met while she and Jason were broken up. After repeated drunken threats and innuendos, Lauren storms out and gets in a cab. Loyal friend Heidi is right behind her and jumps in with her. On the ride Lauren tells Heidi how she has never had a good New Year's Eve -- ever.

When they finally get home right before the stroke of midnight, what soothing words does Heidi have for heartbroken Lauren as she spends yet another lousy New Year's Eve alone?

"I didn't like my hair anyways." (Love her!)