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The Time We Have to Say Goodbye? How sad that Carol Burnett -- who made a career out of pop culture parodies and satirical jabs at celebrities -- has gotten so old that she's lost her sense of humor. The onetime funny lady filed a copyright infringement suit against "The Family Guy" (my brother Terence's fave!) over an episode poking fun at her (The Smoking Gun has the clip here). I have such fond memories of Carol Burnett growing up in the 1970s: even though I had two brothers and a sister, Saturday night would roll around and suddenly it seemed I had the house to myself. My parents would leave for their bowling league, my brothers were off doing their thing and my baby sister was already in bed, just as I got all cozy watching television in the living room. "Mary Tyler Moore," "Bob Newhart" and (back then) especially "Carol Burnett" were my absolute favorites. (Reuters)

Love Pains: I was so excited to hear that John Waters was hosting a new show about marriages that end in murder. (Anyone who knows me will tell you that I spend hours on end watching "City Confidential," "American Justice," "The First 48" and "Forensic Files.") "'Til Death Do Us Part" premieres tonight with back-to-back episodes on CourtTV, although I was a little nervous when found out that the show is a series of reenactments of the crimes rather than the usual footage and photos from the files. (I wonder if there will be an episode about a husband who gets killed for refusing to buy his wife a pair of cha-cha heels?) I guess if anyone can make it work it's John. (Site)

All Right, We Don't Have to Be That Gay: Some gay-marriage advocates are stepping back from their "all or nothing" approach and opting for the benefits marriage provides. (AP)

TV Addict: I'm already completely obsessed with A&E's "Intervention" (did you catch the new one Friday with the crackhead kid whose stepdad is an alcoholic? That two-for-one intervention was awkward!!!), but even I have to admit that 2006 Sundance Film Festival winner "TV Junkie" may be better, simply for the fact that all the footage came from home movies so nothing seems like it's happening for the camera crew. The arrogant crackhead's uncanny resemblance to Lowell Mather on "Wings" make it fun, too. (HBO)

If It's Not One Thing It's Another: Man Wrongly Jailed of Rape Convicted of Murder (AP)

Rubbing People the Wrong Way: A former Mets massage therapist was arrested last week for operating without a license and allegedly sexually assaulting a female patron at his swanky East Side spa. Prosecutors suspect that Carlos Araque, 44, who owns Essential Therapy on East 25th Street and treated All-Stars Jose Reyes and Mike Piazza, attacked other female victims. I wonder if he got anywhere with Mike. (NYP)

Lesbian Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous: Don't you hate it when you and your heiress lezzy lover -- who happens to be a little younger than you -- split up and then she decides that she no longer wants to honor the fact that she adopted you just when the multimillion-dollar trust established by her IBM founder grandfather comes rolling in? (NYT)